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Joke of the Day

"Blow job vs. Mount Everest What does getting a blow job from a 70 year old woman and jumping down from Mount Everest have in common? You don't dare to look down, but you feel the rush."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired ( )"

"A fighter plane mechanic goes to the doctor for his impotence. The doctor examines him and then writes a brief diagnosis. ""Could not reproduce"""

"Anybody ever get paid to smuggle drugs in their butt? ... Cause it sounds like a dope ass job."

"Why is the area between a woman's breast and hips called a waist? Because you can easily fit a second pair of boobs in there."

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"My kids in public are direct payback for every time I shriek'd PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN at my mom in the middle of a crowded mall as a kid."

"*calls wife into the bedroom* *dims the lights* *turns on Marvin Gaye* *sexily sweeps toddler's collection of trucks off the bed*"

"""I just went on a hike and suddenly I can tell everyone what's right and wrong."" -Moses"

"Did you hear about the new emo website? www.emo.com/wrists"