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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't let a garbanzo bean on my face"

"How does a tail pipe feel after a long car ride? exhausted."

"What were the Kamikaze Pilot's last words? ""Watch this cause i'll only do it once."""

"cops at DUI checkpoints should just check to see if u texted ur ex at some point throughout the night"

"5: let's play the quiet game. Me: Okay 5: ready..? Start. Me: 5: Me: 5: whoever talks first is the loser."

"People who say they don't have any problems are lying to you, but at least give them credit for not telling you about them."

"[Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there"

"[Gets cut off by a Pruis] *Speeds up to cut off Prius then drops a banana peel behind me* *Prius spins out of control* Thug life."

"Why is kim jong un such an asshole? he's mentally il."

"How do you tell if a chick's too fat to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them."