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Joke of the Day

"How does a tail pipe feel after a long car ride? exhausted."

"Why is the letter ""O"" everywhere? Because it's a round U."

"What's the difference between eating at a restaurant and standing in a field of cows? I don't tip at restaurants."

"I don't have black, Mexican, or Asian friends... But some of my friends are a bit more shady than others."

"Blackhawks What is that player's name on the hawks that starts with Johnny. I think I know. Oduya?"

"don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather"

"[in bed] Her: *seductively whispering* in the mood for a midnight snack? Me: *Oreo crumbs all over my face* I'm way ahead of you"

"I was going to tell an ISIS joke but then I lost my head."

"Wife: ok, you have free reign to decide on all household decisions today... Me: *too shocked to move or decide anything...*"

"I told my wife not to turn her head away after giving me a blowjob, but she didn't listen. It went in one ear and out the other."