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Joke of the Day

"It doesn't matter how much you work, there will always be an asshole that works less but gets more."

"There really should be awards for getting out of bed."

"My dad used to warn me about anal He said ""Son, this might hurt a bit."""

"Whoever spelled the word Receipt was a friggin idiopt"

"Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads. REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers."

"Where can I fit 40 jews in my car The ashtray."

"A man goes to the doctors, complaining about a pain in his eye. Man: Every time I drink coffee I get a sharp pain in my eye Doctor: Have you tried removing the spoon first"

"It'd be fun to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security's face when they pull off that first mask."

"Apparently SeaWorld CEO has declared an end to kissing and dancing for its performing Orcas... Now those whales will know how I felt at my high school prom!"

"Small cars are the best ones Only Smart people will get this"