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Joke of the Day

"It'd be fun to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security's face when they pull off that first mask."

"You know what's nuts? My balls!"

"i would like it if batmans ears folded down when he got sad"

"Joe Paterno was such a good coach... ...that after he died, he won another 112 games."

"I've nicknamed my grandad Spiderman. He doesn't have any superpowers, he just can't climb out of the bath."

"what do you call an asian lounge singer? george crooney"

"The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men."

"You find love when you're not looking for it, and you can't find it when you really want to. It's sh!t like this that makes me drink."

"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""supprt your local beaver"" or maybe it said ""support your local brewer"" either way it's sound advice."

"[telling a scary story to a group of moths] and when she opened the door..[holds flashlight to face] she- AH GET OFF OF ME YOU GUYS"