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Joke of the Day

"I don't like my masseuse... She just rubs me the wrong way."

"My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat."

"Hello, Mr. Bond. *shuffles UNO cards* I've been expecting you. *sinks into bean bag chair*"

"Why was the dolphin keeper depressed? Because he had no porpoise."

"Where do atheists donate their money? Non Prophet Organizations"

"GREEK JOKE TRANSLATED -BRUSH & D- She confused the brush with a dick. Until this day, it makes me wonder, how can she brush her hair with a dick?"

"The key to great joke tel TIMING! ling is"

"I forgot :( Whilst climbing in the roof space to get down the kids Christmas gifts, I found a present I'd forgotten last year. Such a shame - they would have loved that puppy."

"Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants."

"Accidentally bought a Venti at Starbucks and now I can't afford to go to college :("