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Joke of the Day

"How do you make an Italian deaf? Tie their hands behind their back."

"What do you call a dinosaur that sleeps around a lot? A carniv-whore."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut? He's all right now!"

"What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? ""Nowledge."""

"What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off? Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle."

"I just bought a treadmill. It was a little pricey, but I think it will be worth it in the long run"

"I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there's no fucking money in there."

"Which stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin. It says in the bible, Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 10 miles."

"Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"" ""I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."""

"I really do not understand lent... ...I'd better give up trying!"