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Joke of the Day

"I tried coke once. And then for like another 3 years to make sure I didn't like it"

"What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison? ""I'm stumped."""

"I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex... I'm tired. I'm washing my hair. I've got a headache. I am your sister-in-law."

"My heart goes out to all those frustrated people who are stuck in Traffic, on their way to the Gym to ride Stationary Bicycles..."

"[at a funeral] What happens to his leftover meds?"

"How is religion like a penis? You can have a penis, and you can be proud of your penis, but don't shove your penis in my face."

"When your parents held you as a baby for the first time, they secretly hoped you'd end up arguing with strangers on a celebrity's Instagram."

"What is Hillary Clintons favorite type of footwear? flip-flops"

"Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."

"Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice? It didn't like being double crossed."