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Joke of the Day

"I got my first ejaculation today... I did not see that comming..."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who switched to Spam? He said it's the greatest thing since sliced Fred"

"What's so bad about being a dick? Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole your master covers you in a plastic bag And every time you get excited you spew."

"Did you hear about the new pop singer that has giant nipples? Her name is Areola Grande."

"My mom just replied to my text with ""K."" Whooooaaa busy lady, is there some emergency over on FarmVille?"

"Knock Knock Kid: knock knock Dad: Who's there? Kid: Hatch Dad: Hatch who? Kid: Bless You."

"Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?"

"The vast majority of spider couples met on the web."

"1st date: I love the spiderman movies Me: So do I [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: I used to be a spider"

"Did you know if you put your ear up to a strangers leg, you can actually hear them say; ""What the fcuk are you doing?"""