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Joke of the Day

"What's so bad about being a dick? Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole your master covers you in a plastic bag And every time you get excited you spew."

"Knock knock... Who's there?... Tank... Tank who?... You're welcome"

"Needing to ""loose"" some weight this year isn't your biggest problem, my friend."

"Like most pale people I will be occupying the indoors this summer."

"Being fat is just a giant trophy for all of the awesome food you ate."

"What do cows say on Halloween? Still moo."

"Did I ever tell you about how I once dated a stripper named Cake? She always used to let me have it and eat it, too."

"When I finally had sex in a hall of mirrors I was fucking beside myself."

"There's no time like the present. Or later. Later on is pretty similar, actually."

"""LBJ"" was a president... Not a Spanish term for Hump Day activities."