185799

Joke of the Day

"1st date: I love the spiderman movies Me: So do I [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: I used to be a spider"

"I know a place where the recycling rate is 99% /r/jokes"

"At School: What Does It Give You? ""Kids, what does the chicken give you?"" ""Meat!"" ""Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"" ""Bacon!"" ""Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"" ""Homework!"""

"Racist humor ;) Why are there so many black people in Detroit??? It's because they heard there was no jobs there."

"Ladies, if all he does is make you cry then maybe you're dating an onion and not a man."

"I'd like to execute g0d. But how can you execute vacuum."

"Knock, knock Knock Knock knock Knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock .... Knock knock knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock Who's there? Knock in his prime."

"If you listen to a Miley Cyrus song backwards you can hear Satan refusing to have sex with her."

"When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you."

"Today we put differences aside and wish peace and love to all mankind. Except for Verizon who I hate."