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Joke of the Day

"Pinterest is a great place to organize ideas you'll never follow through on."

"What do you call a blowjob from a homeless person ? A Bummer"

"A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder was applying for a job. His resume spoke for itself."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can't sleep with a light on"

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Mittens. Just joking, im not sure what he got, hasn't opened his gift yet"

"I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder."

"Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid."

"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem ... Comes out of nowhere!"

"Took my first cab ride last night And I gotta say, the price was fare!"

"German sausage Ain't it the wurst?"