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Joke of the Day
"I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder."
Next Joke
"Eng: you should wear the leather's jacket... Espan: ponte la chamarra de cuerro... Eng: so Leather died of the cold... Espan: y Cuerro murio de frio."
"Her: I like your facial hair Me: I like YOUR facial hair (FLIRTING IS HARD)"
"How is a lady like a casino? Liquor in the front and poker in the back"
"My grandfather is so racist he only eats white chocolate at Easter."
"What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day? A hug and a little quiche."
"Is there an easy way to leave a dance circle or do I have to die here?"
"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But I turned myself around."
"Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades."
"Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church."