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Joke of the Day
"knock knock Who's There? Do you ya Do you ya who? No, It's 2014 I use Google"
Next Joke
"If you can't handle me at my worst then I should probably pull myself together and be considerate of others."
"[At dinner with wife's friends] Me: may I chime in Wife: I swear to God if you brought your chimes- *my bag dings a little as I unzip it*"
"You know what really brings the child out in me? Abortion."
"You can't run through a campground You can only ran, because its past tents"
"A guy walks into a bar... ""Ouch"""
"Father's Day was probably an awkward day in the Jesus household"
"How do Jews do a pregnancy test? The woman spreads her legs and the man throws a penny between them - if a hand darts out to snatch it up then it's a positive"
"Q: How do you make an idiot think he's a duck? A: Tell him he's a duck."
"Is it just my nipples or is it cold outside. They're hard as rock. EDIT: They're"