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Joke of the Day

"Sex is a lot like pizza... Even when it's bad, you still have to pay for it."

"Recent Studies... Recent studies show that 4 out of 5 blondes are blonde"

"What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Dr. Pokemon."

"If I was Jennifer Lawrence, I'd see which laws I could ignore. Start with going behind the counter at Starbucks, work my way up to murder."

"Two men were sitting in a canoe in the middle of the desert... One man says to the other, ""where's your paddle?"" to which the other man replies, ""sure does."""

"I'm well versed in Mexico's version of Judo. Judo know if I got a knife... Judo know if I got a gun..."

"The lights at JayZ's house weren't working, so he called me to fix it. Now he's got 99 problems but the switch ain't one."

"My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save."

"What driver doesn't have a license? A screwdriver"

"ME: look a possum HER: actually it's spelled opossum ME: you don't no how I spelled it, we're talking HER: actually it's spelled know"