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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac? A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog."

"Did you hear about the new Obama Healthcare Burrito? You don't find out whats in it until you pass it..."

"What do you get when you cross the Italian mafia with the Russian mafia? Thrown in a lake."

"Not all of the weird sexual stuff you hear about is as good as it's cracked up to be... I mean you can tell me how great autoerotic asphyxiation is till you're blue in the face."

"Are your other donkeys jealous because that's one fine ass"

"Whenever you see me on screen, just know there's a highly likely chance I was 20% acting and 80% thinking about what's for lunch"

"your call is important to us. like, super important. we all bought new outfits for this call. dave is wearing a wig"

"Why was WWI so short? Because they were Russian... Why was WWII so long? They were Stalin..."

"How do you spot the blind man at the nudist beach? It's not hard"

"What If When You Die They Ask You ""How Was Heaven?"""