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Joke of the Day

"So what exactly can I learn on the Internet? Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk like an Indian. How? See? It's working already."

"How do you define an aardvark? Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater!"

"For a first date date, my girlfriend wasn't impressed when I tried to drive over the frozen lake drunk. But, it was an icebreaker."

"I don't feel strongly enough about anything to take the time to join a protest. Unless, maybe, there was some big threat against pizza."

"Lance Armstrong interviewed before a competition - How do you feel about the upcoming Tour de France? - I'm gonna give 110%"

"If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything."

"Q: What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? A: Patty O'Furniture."

"Forget Beniffer & Brangelina! The new power couple in Hollywood is Peeta & Katniss from The Hunger Games! Or Peeniss for short."

"My new favorite drink at the bar. It's called the Paul Walker. It's an irish car bomb followed by a shot of fireball."

"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? NSFW a sunken chest with no booty!"