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Joke of the Day

"I don't feel strongly enough about anything to take the time to join a protest. Unless, maybe, there was some big threat against pizza."

"[doctors] ""How long have I got?"" ""Not long. Two, three months"" [casually places apple on desk] ""Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"""

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the children? Want to buy a piece of candy?"

"English class...... Teacher. One day our country will be corruption free. which tense is it?? student. Future impossible tense."

"My wife says I'm way too condescending (That means I speak down to people)"

"I need a joke. I need a quick joke to tell Dennis tomorrow. He always tells me a good one and I want to hit him back with a good one."

"I was banned from the Middle East, so this is what I did... Iran"

"What the difference between a police car and a porcupine? With a police car, the pricks are on the inside"

"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years time... Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"What is the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver? The drunk driver passes a stop sign, the stoner waits for it to turn green."