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Joke of the Day

"Asked my wife if I was going to get a ""tip"" for driving her around today. She laughed and laughed. Apparently so hard, she got a headache."

"According to this grocery list I've written on my hand, I've invented a new language."

"hate when people walk in on me naked! What's this world coming to when u can't get a moment to yourself at toy r us?"

"A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, ""namaste in bed""."

"How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season? Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone."

"I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen"

"Yo mama is so classless... Yo mama is so classless that Marx thinks she's an ideal society."

"I'm rubber, you're glue, we're both living a nightmarish existence as self-aware inanimate objects. Someone please kill us."

"What do you call a white guy surrounded by 15 black guys? Coach."

"GF Trying to Find a 32 Bit version of MS Office. ""WTF, there is no 32 bit version. They are all 64 bit or x86."""