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Joke of the Day

"Asked my wife if I was going to get a ""tip"" for driving her around today. She laughed and laughed. Apparently so hard, she got a headache."

"Self Detonation is a real blast.. Or so I've heard.. C4 yourself."

"Where do all them scrub gamers live? Pleblos"

"Driver "" I'm very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver "" said the friend to the old man. "" oh, don't worry, I can drive """

"How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists? Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it."

"A German man and his son walk into a bar... A German man and his son walk into a bar. The man points to his son and says ""Ein Bier bitte"". Bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve your Kind here""."

"Only in America... Can you shoot up a whole church and still be hated less than someone who shot a lion."

"Going back to work in 10 mins. When I'm back, this better be front page, Reddit."

"I refuse to text and drive... I always end up spilling my beer."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner? All he got was a cold shoulder."