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Joke of the Day

"'I'm Spartacus' 'No I'm Spartacus' 'I am Spartacus' 'I AM Spartacus' 'I'm Spartacus' 'Look I just need someone to sign for the package'"

"A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes. Genie: What is your first wish? Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish? Rich: I want lots of money."

"What's Bruce Lee's favorite car? Kiaaaaaaaa"

"DATE: This place is so fancy ME: Ever have a guy splurge on you before? DATE: Well, only when we didn't have a condom"

"In some people's eyes, throwing acid is wrong"

"""i before me, excepts after we.."" - gollum in elementary school"

"If you eat a pot brownie and a Ken doll, you'll poop a Matthew McConaughey."

"Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant? She blew them both."

"What's the difference between me and an egg? Eggs get laid."

"I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person."