121960

Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink... When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, ""Bartender, how much do I owe you?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, neutron, no charge."""

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"What do you find in the filing cabinets of a law firm? Organised crime."
"I came home drunk last night and my wife looks at me says ""Drunk Again"" and I said ""Me Too!!"
"Stereotype Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads? - Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)"
"I was asked a million dollar question today ""Is that your car that just crashed into my lamborghini ??"""
"BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired"
"A nurse found a rectal thermometer... A nurse found a rectal thermometer in her top breast pocket. ""Some assholes got my pen"" she said."
"The IRS is going to start garnishing my wages. I think I'll enjoy getting a sprig of parsley in my paycheck."
"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus station? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"
"My wife and I have an agreement with our 7 year old daughter Don't wake us up early on the weekend and we won't abandon you in a mall"