69499

Joke of the Day

"The IRS is going to start garnishing my wages. I think I'll enjoy getting a sprig of parsley in my paycheck."

"What do you say to a naked pig? ""I never sausage a body."""

"I never get invited to search parties."

"I'm feeling more attracted to you lately. Have you put on weight?"

"Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport? Because he was Snowden."

"My girlfriend bet me a blow job that I couldn't go the whole day without making a period joke. I said, ""You're on."""

"The Civil War wasn't about slavery . . . . . . it was about ethics in journalism."

"Ace of Base and the Lords of Acid meet in a bar and neutralize each other"

"[last day at job] ""You've made my life a misery, I hate you all"" [remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift] ""Not you tho Phil"""

"Dr Seuss Jokes Hello M'lady, how are you today? Let's go to my place and then we may Play some cards and test our luck But after that let's go and fu...rnish my bedroom"