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Joke of the Day
"So what do you call a busy soviet A Russian....yeah...."
Next Joke
"Why did the Bloody Mary need a restraining order? Celery Stalks."
"Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL"
"Me: C'mon, baby. Just the tip? Her: No! Me: Awww, cmon! Her: No, you're paying the whole bill this time."
"Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door."
"My buddy with 3 nuts just got a tattoo It was tri-bal."
"LIFE HACK: If you want to remember something write it upside down on the back of your underwear waistband. You'll see it when you're pooping"
"I just used Oxi Clean for the first time, and it's amazing. I'm starting to think Michael Jackson put it in his bath water."
"I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,""I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."""
"Be careful of shoe thieves I hear they're afoot."