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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of its silent ""p"""

"What's a zombie's favorite snack? Fritos"

"Guess who I ran into when I went to get my glasses. Everybody"

"What is a firefighter's favorite video game console? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U HINT: Say it outloud"

"What do old people smell like. Depends."

"I was gonna post a joke about me being a shitty seller on eBay But my delivery has horrible timing."

"How many people with alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the otherside!"

"I had the dream again, the one where I show up to a standardized test with a no.3 pencil."

"*smashes into treehouse* Gimme all ur snacks! *kid reaches for cans on a string to make emergency call but I already snipped the string*"