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Joke of the Day

"Be careful of shoe thieves I hear they're afoot."

"I broke up with my girlfriend because she was spending too much time playing computer games. Her Minesweeper addiction was a big red flag."

"If I was a stripper my name would be medusa Because I'll make you rock hard ;)"

"What's the worst animal to play cards with? A cheetah. Because it'll rip your fucking face off."

"Bet you I can guess how much she weighs. She's about one... FAT BITCH!"

"My friend told me I didn't understand irony Which was ironic considering we were stood at a bus stop at the time."

"I have a step stool... I never knew my real stool."

"Guess what came in the mail today I did, I ran out of tissue."

"What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The head nurse."

"Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random ugly people...or sometimes floors"