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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Bloody Mary need a restraining order? Celery Stalks."
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"How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb? Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself."
"Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?"
"To ease tension in crowded elevators I yell ""George Lopez is a comedic genius!"" Then I get stabbed with a box cutter & I dont have insurance"
"God, grant me the serenity to yell at immigrant children, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ashley ! Ashley who ? Ashley-t's foot !"
"People who remote lock their car 2 times seriously have trust issues. Personally, I do it 3 times but that's just my OCD."
"Canadian whiskey is just whiskey that apologizes for your hangover in the morning"
"My German wife has just had a Brazilian. It was a Klose shave."
"Two dyslexic men walk into a bra."