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Joke of the Day

"after my son won his soccer game, his teammate invited us over to celebrate. it was father, son, and the goalie host"

"Most of us get into advertising for the money. Me? I've just always had a passion for making people feel bad"

"Why are all updates to Apple stuff piratical? Because they all involve iPatches."

"Okay with female deers & drops of golden sun. But always felt that ""La"" deserved a better identity than ""a note to follow So"""

"Hermione Granger: What can I wear that won't make me look fat? Ronald Weasley: An invisibility cloak"

"""Who am I kidding?"" - blind comedians"

"What do you call a spider that likes 80s music? A Durantula."

"Did you know Jesus has nice abs? He does crossfit."

"What was the name of Gorilla's girlfriend Go-rilla"

"My masseur thinks he's naturally better than any masseuse. He's such a massagynist."