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Joke of the Day
"I've stopped trying to understand sandwiches with a third piece of bread in the middle."
Next Joke
"""HULK WANT LOAN."" Bank: ""We can't loan to people like you."" ""GREEN SKIN PEOPLE??"" Bank: ""No, people who owe 2.6M in property damage."""
"An atom loses an electron... It says, ""man, I really gotta keep an ion them."" Edit: RIP inbox, nearly thought Reddit Au was coming Edit 2: First Reddit au! Thanks kind stranger!"
"""Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?!?"" ""Same thing that bag is doing in your tea."""
"A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar - The bartender looks up and says 'get the fuck out of here!'"
"ME [struggling]: skinny jeans, skinny jeans, let me in SCARED DENIM: don't come back till you're thinny, thin, thin"
"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"
"At trial, a Volkswagen engineer is called to the stand to explain why they participated in the 'clean diesel' debacle. He claims he is not guilty. He said he was just following...odors."
"Netflix just announced it's raising the price and changing it's slogan to ""One movie you wanna see and a thousand others you never heard of"""
"I hate school and got caught skipping the other day... My principal said, ""Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."""