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Joke of the Day

"Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles? because Happy Hour ended."

"I woke up this morning and realised I didn't have to go to school today. I was so happy... then I remembered I'm an unemployed 43-year-old."

"What do you call 4 mexicans in quick sand? Cuatro sinko"

"Miss someone? Paint a helium balloon like their face. Deflate it. Put it in your back pocket. They're still gone and that was weird advice."

"What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra? Go Bach and get a Handel on it!"

"Why did the blind driver have no hands? He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour"

"I painted my PC black hoping it would run faster but now it doesn't work at all."

"Your mommas so fat That when she posted to /r/gonewild they renamed the sub /r/earthporn"

"D&D character name I'm going to make a half man half horse cleric and name it centaur for disease control"

"*flips over table* *table flips back up* Table: You got a problem? Me: DO YOU? Table: ... Me: HUH? Table: ... Me: I SAID DO WE HA- Table: No"