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Joke of the Day

"""Morning guys"" ""HOLY SHIT IT'S SUPERMAN!"" - Clark Kent's first day at work wearing contact lenses"

"What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ? Discordant !"

"For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in"

"Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me agin tomorrow on still fat Wednesday"

"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once"

"I played Lady Gaga at Texas hold 'em. I lost because I fucking suck at cards."

"What do you call an Arab who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist motherfucker."

"What's the difference between a woman and bacon....? You can't beat bacon....!"

"So some Mexican lady named Patricia listened to the new Adele and cried so much she's flooding Mexico"

"Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie"