41930

Joke of the Day

"A father and his son are watching their dog clean himself... Son: Don't you wish you could do that, Dad? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I 've been tripping all day!"

"What do you call an emo vegetable? A despair-agus"

"A stallion and a mare where due to get married but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet"

"When I tell my wife I'm gonna have to work late she knows it's code for I was playing with super glue and I'm stuck to my desk again."

"What did the physicist say when his wife wanted to go jewelery shopping? ""I don't have the energy for this."""

"Two peanuts walk into a bar... One was a salted."

"I'm crap at telling jokes. I keep on punching up the fuck lines."

"""Pasta la veista, baby"" -Arnold Schwarzenoodles"

"What do you get when you cross a Native American with phosphorylation? ATP"