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Joke of the Day

"A father and his son are watching their dog clean himself... Son: Don't you wish you could do that, Dad? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me."

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"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."
"Lance Armstrong never had the balls to admit that he cheated."
"Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby."
"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk. - TommyEdisonXP (youtuber)"
"What do you call it... What do you call it when a bus and a car are put together? 12 Casualties"
"Made my mom the most beautiful Mother's Day card out of my psychiatrist bills."
"me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth"
"6 was jealous about other kids getting notes in their lunches, so I put one in his: ""Sorry, I ate your pudding. Love, Dad."""
"Things safer than flying Malaysia Airlines: -Badger juggling -Heroin enemas -Grenade soup -Live cobra condoms -Roman candle tampons -Ebola"