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Joke of the Day

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely... ...if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone."

"DOCTOR: *stethoscope on my back* Gimme a very slow exhale. ME: EXXXXHHHHHHAAAALLLLLE"

"What do you call a good looking tractor? Attractor"

"My uncle always said I was too soft. But I just didn't fancy him."

"The Economic Breakfast by Roland Marge"

"Obesity it's a disease People in America say obesity is a disease. The only thing diseases and obese people have in common is they are both really easy to catch."

"The first woman on the Moon... ""Houston, we have a problem."" ""What?"" ""Never mind."" ""What's the problem?"" ""Nothing."" ""Please tell us?"" ""You know what the problem is."""

"If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help."

"Knock Knock Whos there"" Allah Allah who? Allahwho akbar"

"I went hardcore camping last weekend. Let's just say, it was intense."