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Joke of the Day
"what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!"
Next Joke
"me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD"
"Firestien just came out with a new Jewish tire. It not only stops on a dime, it picks it up too."
"What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one"
"Why was Crassus bad at insults? He never really got the hang of Parthian shots."
"My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer"
"Did you hear about the alien megastructures located near the Milkyway? *Handwave* nanobots"
"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on juan"
"Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it."
"I love people who IM me to tell me that they left a voice message to say that they sent me an email"