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Joke of the Day

"Jim McGuinn and David Crosby found dead in apparent Double Homicide, one Keith Richards suspected. It seems two Byrds were killed by one Stone."

"I said to my Doctor, ""I've become a can of deodorant."" He said, ""Are you sure?"" I replied, ""No, I'm Lynx."""

"A guy walks into a bar.... ...holding a set of jumper cables and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says ""okay, I'll serve you, but don't you start anything!"""

"[job interview] ""So do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"" Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. First they beat the room for being black, then they arrest the light bulb for being broke."

"English and American spellings England: colour America: color England: humour America: humor England: flavour America: flavor England: What the hell are you doing? America: Getting rid of u"

"I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?"

"Not to brag or anything, but I scored 4 points on flappy bird before my phone mysteriously flung itself across the room"

"what's 6 inches long 2 inches wide and drives a woman wild? money"

"Him: You're married? Me: Well, it's Thursday. So, yeah. Him: What about on Friday? Me: Depends how Thursday goes."