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Joke of the Day

"How do you call a 100 m race between siamese twins? Head to head race"

"I once had a selfie with Dwayne Johnson at the Alcatraz Island (during an SF City Tour)... Now I know what it feels to be stucked between The Rock and A Hard Place..."

"When pearl jam comes on and you're like... It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this"

"You know how to detect procrastinator,"

"Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing? Because it's non binary"

"I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said ""Yes!"". I said ""Good, because I'm breaking up with you."" Fuck you, Chelsey."

"BREAKING: 30 people feared soothed in Yankee Candle fire."

"I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road. I'm so jealous."

"What's Rick Grimes' favorite holiday? Christmas, Carl"

"Did you hear about the time that /u/poem_for_your_sprog and /u/ShittyJokeExplainBot got into trouble? It was a shticky situation. I'll show myself out."