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Joke of the Day

"I never really liked Robin Williams movies. They may be funny, but they keep hanging around.^I'll^see^myself^out..."

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.. Light a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Did you hear the headline about midget psychic on the run from the Law? It read, ""Small Medium At Large."""

"How do you confused people in the 90s? Tell them ""In 2016, we will be able to refer to someone as ""Sir and/or Ma'am"" And still be assuming someone's gender."""

"Whats 1+0? Babies"

"Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop having twelve dollars."

"Ma'am, I never said your baby is ugly. In fact, I have not even seen it. However, the aardvark in your stroller is adorable."

"I have a lot of growing up to do... I realized this the other day... inside my fort."

"Stages of Candle Burning 1: this smells nice 2: still smells nice 3: this is all I can smell now 4: this is the only scent I have ever known"

"Poor superman.he can't go commando without the whole world noticing"