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Joke of the Day

"[funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* ""That's what... *gargle* ...she said."" *dies again*"

"Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!"

"Why did the octopus blush? He saw the bottom of the ocean"

"Did you hear about the time Orion lost an archery match? He was given a constellation prize."

"My husband really loves our new couch. In fact, he loves it so much he called me his exwife's name just so he could sleep on it."

"Two guys walk into a bar They both had a concussion"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bjorn ! Bjorn who ? Bjorn with a silver spoon in his mouth !"

"My coworker broke his second windshield today. I offered him my apple... ...because windows keep crashing on him."

"Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of. Is it a virus or a free U2 album?"

"What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em? Barium."