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Joke of the Day

"Why did the octopus blush? He saw the bottom of the ocean"

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"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you're out of eyes."
"What was Lenin's favourite film? Tsar Wars episode III: Revenge of the scythe."
"My husband hasn't forgiven me for answering 'Okie dokie artichokie' instead of utilizing the more socially acceptable phrase, ""I do."""
"WRITER: A drifter & a rich lady fall in love WALT DISNEY: Can they be dogs? WR: A woman steals a couple's baby WD: Can the baby be 101 dogs?"
"When does a gas become a liquid? When it stains your underwear."
"What do you call an extraterrestrial cetacean? A Whalien."
"Coffee: you haven't had enough until you can thread a sewing machine needle while it's running."
"What's the difference between incest porn and regular porn? The mute button."
"Did you hear about the fire at the flame retardant textile manufacturer? Someone left the irony on..."