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Joke of the Day

"Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of. Is it a virus or a free U2 album?"

"What do you call a Canadian in a blizzard? Cold."

"I don't always roll a joint... But when I do it's my ankle."

"Its good to die like my grandfather, painlessly in his sleep. Its bad to die in a terrible accident, like the passengers on his bus."

"You want to know why we couldn't put together an Eighties Music Festival? It was to much of a cluster-funk."

"Circles are so pointless."

"I'm really good at managing my credit card... ...My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding."

"""How did you go in the exam on Nazi invasions?"" ""I blitzed it."""

"Something went wrong .. ha ha A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"What's the definition of gross? Two vampires fighting over a used tampon"