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Joke of the Day
"You wanna hear a joke about Ebola? You probably won't get it."
Next Joke
"""are you sure these x-rays are safe?"" [doctor 12 feet away behind a lead wall] you're fine"
"What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie."
"I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."" Then I said, ""Turn left."""
"What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist? Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned."
"9 out of 10 dentists recommend crest toothpaste... ...the 10th is in still in hiding for paying $50,000 for the right to murder a lion in Africa."
"Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career. *Interception*"
"I think the Ice Bucket Challenge is a giant waste of water *falls asleep in the shower for 2 hours*"
"Thanks god my wife die. hhhhhhhhh"
"""UNLESS WE'RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE'S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!"" - me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum"