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Joke of the Day

"I guess FIFA had to pee cause they couldn't hold their Blatter anymore."

"What do you call sandpaper in Iraq? A map."

"I can speak any language. I just don't understand what I'm saying in anything but english."

"If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner it's usually about 90 degrees."

"Why did the inventor of panadol think I had no parents? I said I'm an orphan."

"How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve..."

"The Russian skater has a mullet. Glasnost in front, Perestroika in back."

"""Mommy, why did Santa decide to deliver presents on Jesus' birthday."" Shits about to get REALLY dishonest up in here."

"My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day... Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, ""60 Watts - Made in China."""

"My depressed son once confided in me, to which I replied: ""Don't worry, you're my reason to smile... ... because you're a joke."""