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Joke of the Day
"Dear men, if you stopped seeing your wife as a woman, it doesn't mean that all men are blind."
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"It's amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff."
"What does a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets."
"""Give it to me!"" she said, ""I'm so fcuking wet, give it to me right now!"" And I replied, ""Fcuk you, it's my umbrella!"
"[First date] Her: i'm a criminal lawyer, what do you do? Me: really, well it just so happens that I... (trying to impress her) ...am a criminal"
"Two Grandma's Are Walking Down The Street... One says to the other 'My chest is tight, and I feel heavy'. The other one replies 'That's because you're standing on your left titty.'."
"How do you circumsize a blue whale? Four skindivers"
"What's so dark about blonde jokes? They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb"
"""I love all quilts, regardless of quality."" - blanket statement"
"[Record Shop] Me: Hi, have you got anything by the Doors? Shopkeeper: No, we have to keep all exits clear in case of emergencies."