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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about having a huge dick? Trying to hide it under the skirt."

"I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said ""hold my beer, watch this"""

"My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid. But i can stop any time i want."

"Me to My Neighbour we get it. you can hold your breath (*looks at watch*) for 19 days. Quit showing off and come out of that pool."

"I need some help with my Halloween costume. I'm dressing up as Ebola and I want to make sure everyone gets it."

"I'm gonna get a neck tattoo that looks exactly like my neck."

"- Your Honor, I'd like to plead insanity. - On what grounds?! - I'm married. - I'll allow it."

"Why did the Japanese funeral home have to turn away new business? They ran out of san storage"

"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan"

"Just saw a kid go down a slide looking at an iPhone. End of the world or multi-tasking?"