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Joke of the Day

"What did Pinocchio say to his girlfriend Sit on my face and I'll tell you some lies."

"If the FBI needs to get into someones's iPhone without permission.. They should just call U2 and ask how they did it"

"Isaac Newton's friend was 16 minutes late the first time they met. At their second meeting, the friend was 8 minutes late. At this rate, said Newton, ""you'll never be on time."""

"I refuse to vote in the US presidential elections! Mainly because I don't live there, nor am I american."

"Son: Dad how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, Usually"

"A woman recently got oak breast implants... ...this joke would probably be better if it had a punchline, wooden tit."

"How does one refer to intentionally harming the national bird of the U.S? It's an ill-eagle activity"

"What did Father Buffalo say to Child Buffalo as he left for school? Bison."

"So I slept with your daughter last night. She has a tiny dick though."

"Why was my other pillow jealous? Because I like to sleep around."