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Joke of the Day

"If the FBI needs to get into someones's iPhone without permission.. They should just call U2 and ask how they did it"

"I can remember my first day at school The teacher looked at me during register and asked, ""Are you chewing?"" I said, ""No, chewing is probably one of the foreign kids, my name is David."""

"You know who else has a naughty list? HR"

"What kind of bee can never be understood? A mumble-bee."

"What did John and Yoko say when their son wouldn't eat his vegetables? ""All we are saying is give peas a chance."""

"How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected? All your stuff has been donated to charity"

"I like my coffee like I like my men. Ground up and in the freezer."

"Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working."

"The emperor's new joke"

"""You wanna play the rape game?"" ""-No!"" ""-That's the spirit."""