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Joke of the Day

"So I went to an abstinence conference the other day... All we did was wait"

"Doctor Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do Sir this is a fish and chip shop!"

"I just paid $4,000 to have a skywriter write ""Actually, Vanessa, YOU'RE the one who's being 'dramatic'."""

"Having an argument on the internet... ... Is like having a small dick contest. There's no weiner."

"Prince has died. The artist fully known as alive."

"With the recent success of mining for Chileans, I'm just hoping the U.S. doesn't try drilling for Farm Laborers."

"Late 9/11 joke. My dad died during 9/11. He was driving a plane."

"The entire history of the universe could be seen as a slow growth, expansion and coalescence of consciousness, were it not for Sarah Palin."

"Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party? Because he always brings the boos"

"I just want to be rich enough that I don't have to watch DIY videos on YouTube every time something in my house breaks."