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Joke of the Day

"So I went to an abstinence conference the other day... All we did was wait"

"[blind date] Her: I'm a Capricorn, which probably tells you way too much about m.. Me: *covers ears with bread rolls*"

"I'm glad i know sign language It's pretty handy"

"Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter."

"What does a cock and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Repost, forgot to proofread ""What's does a dick and a Rubiks Cube have in common?"" From /r/Jokes"

"Break-up if you can't be faithful. Stay faithful or stay single."

"Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store."

"Keanu Reeves, sure, but then Keanu comes back a rittle bit rater."

"Doctor Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking Do you drink a lot? Not really - I spill most of it!"

"What's the difference between a prostitute in the bath tub and a nun? The nun has hope in her soul."