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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying he is out of shape, but... ... he calls the gym 'James' because he doesn't feel familiar enough for nicknames."

"I'm Thirsty! Hey Thirsty, I'm Friday. Wanna go out on Saturday for a Sunday? ^I'm^sorry"

"How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak? You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them."

"What do you call a (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle? Thief. What do you call TWO (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle? Organized crime."

"Did you hear about the guy who was convicted for committing lewd acts on fruit at a grocery store? (Mildly NSFW) He got off on a peel."

"[Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle"

"My family and I went to visit this new zoo that opened up recently but they only had a single canine there It was a shih tzu"

"Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not ""English"" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet."

"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?"

"My Dad always worked really hard to be able to put dinner on the table for his family. And still my Mam moaned because he couldn't afford to buy plates. That table was ruined."