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Joke of the Day

"Just pulled up next to a car identical to mine & accidentally made eye contact with the driver. I think that means we have to race on green."

"I'm a religious man living in Colorado, and I'm starting a marijuana business. I'm calling it Holy Smokes."

"Did you hear about the Mexicans that robbed the train museum? I don't know why they did it but they must have had a pretty 'loco' motive."

"replace the chair in the Oval Office w/slightly bigger chair every day for next 4 yrs til trump looks tiny + his feet don't touch the ground"

"DOCTOR: Here's some medicine, for your well-being. GUY WHO HAS SOMEONE CAPTIVE IN HIS WELL: *thinking* How does he know about the Well Being"

"ISIS is now engaged in amphibious warfare... They started killing frogs"

"What do you call a stoner balancing his checkbook? High finance!"

"Why do most movie sequels stink? Because movie makers are basically doing a number 2."

"Old people, when you say ""the good ol' days,"" do you mean during the draft, or when black people had separate bathrooms?"

"People tell me I have ADHD Wanna ride bikes?"