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Joke of the Day

"Its best to put your phone on some rice when its wet Asian people will come at night and fix it"

"I once went on a date with a playwright It was all going well, until she started making a scene"

"Why did the leper crash his car? He left his foot on the accelerator."

"I wanted to dress as Glenn Beck for Halloween, but I couldn't find enough ignorance and hate."

"Why should you never date an atom? The split is gonna be explosive"

"A man has a steering wheel coming out of his fly First man, why is that steering whell coming out of your fly? Second man, It's driving me nuts."

"I bought a My Little Pony T-shirt the other day. Because sometimes I just don't want anyone to approach me for any reason at all."

"Why do walruses just love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal."

"Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen? Because they sell more tickets!"

"Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!"