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Joke of the Day
"Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!"
Next Joke
"I was feeling under the weather... so i got on a plane."
"FRIEND: you gotta go home and show your wife who's boss ME: damn right [later] ME: jen listen up *pulls out photo* this is my manager tim"
"No thanks Cupid. If I wanted butterflies and my heart skipping beats, I would do something less ridiculous like lose my phone."
"What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley? The position of the dirtbag."
"What do you call it when Hitler pees? Fuhrenating."
"What do you call someone who is obsessed with Joan of Arc? A heroine addict."
"How much did the pirate spend on his earings? A buck an ear."
"Why do differentiating mathematicians prefer Manhattans to Mojitos? Ryes over rum."
"Two computers were having sex All you could hear was 0 0 0 0 0 0"